1.) I HATE the Disney Vault. No seriously, you guys, I motherfucking hate it with the fire of a thousand suns. Because right about now we would own the whole Disney collection* except we can't b/c of the vault. So we're stuck watching the same two movies over and over and over and over and over again.
|Also he's kindof a dick.|
|Calm down, mom. I like primates but you have a long time before you have to worry about me dating one.|
4.) RAWR CHOO CHOO. Yes. There is a television show called... wait for it... Dinosaur Train. Where Dinosaurs ride on a Train. It sounds completely random. Except that both of these are things that a toddler can get behind. I would love to have been in on the marketing meeting that came up with this one. 'Hey what's your toddler into?" "Dinosaurs and trains" "Brilliant. We're done here." Next up Helicopter Princess or Dog Car.
|I can't make this shit up.|
|and by friend I mean "gullible kid whose parents will spend a fortune on my licensed merchandise"|
6.) There's a reason Sesame Street has endured. And it's not their many marketing strategies. It's moderately educational**, the characters are relatable, and it doesn't make me stabby in any way. So bring on OOOR (elmo), COOKIE, and BIRDIE. Also every time I see the count I think of this and that's always a win:
7.) DJ Lance is a rockstar. That is all.
So wow. That got alot longer than I thought it would. Clearly I can't wait for a time when she can roam around without ending up in pain and I can turn the damn TV off.
|I would roam now if you'd let me. Screw what the doctor says. Girl's gotta MOVE.|
** Just a heads up. TELEVISION CANNOT REPLACE EDUCATING YOUR CHILD. Right now Nick Jr's whole schtick is "It's like preschool on your tv." Um. No. It's not. Stop it. I'm not that gullible. Even if you call your product Preschool or Einstein or whatever it's still just TV. And the end result is not an Einstein it's a kid who's quiet and sitting still for once. Market it that way. I'd respect you a whole lot more.